Monday 28 June 2021

The girl under the bridge

Its raining, hard

Its cold, colder inside

pieces are missing 

It spilt out of her eyes, ages ago


She squats, holding her tummy, 

It's her favourite position

It appeases the hunger

The darkness overcomes


Can't light a fire,

She draws her sweater closer

Puts her school jacket on

But wind blows straight through her

She's too thin, too broken, too damaged


Life put her outside, nowhere to hold

Deep gashes in her back

Ridges of pain criss cross

Festering quietly, making her sick

her white shirt stuck to her skin


Alone, she faces the world

She will not stand with the others

She's ashamed guilty 

She's dirty, greedy men 

They don't see her

They only know her price


Its a kind of suicide really

Going down on a man

It's a way to die, raw and human

She wants to die

But she doesn't know how

She didn't have to care,

She wants to die

But she doesn't know how


Wishes



What do I wish for myself? 

Do I wish my life undone? 

The pain, those awkward moments.

Could I have done without my tears, those scars?

Could I have done without the humiliation, the shame?


What if the hanged, the rubber belt or the loneliness did not exist

What if the brutal violation hadn’t occurred

Sadistic men with their own agendas 

An ignorant man clever with words

Torturing my insides in seemingly never ending waves

Would I be a flat person, like a sheet of white paper?

All smooth and without crinkles, without darkness

Would I be able to find myself

Would I be able to swim, to dance, to create 


If I had my life undone 

Would the darkness be so dark

Would I be able to find my way 

Pick up the torch to see the exit

Would I be able to write this now